Waqt ki Baatein

Maa has a habit of switching on the radio early in the morning. Always disturbing my sleep. It doesn’t work properly now. I asked her, “why do you still switch it on while it doesn’t sound clear as it should be?” To that, she replied, “Is there supposed to be a reason for everything?”

You know papa gifted her the radio in the hope that she will start singing again which she left after her marriage. They shared the morning routine, having a cup of tea, and listening to 90s music. Maa never got back to singing but listening to music always made her smile. Now, it’s just some crack music and a cup of tea that accompanies Maa in the hall every morning.

So, I got up and made myself a cup of coffee and suddenly the music comes on, “Waqt ki Baatein” and I can’t help but time travel through music. It took me to places I never thought I would visit again.

“Toh kya hua jo toota aaj sapna yeh tera, Toh kya hua jo aaj koi apna na mila.”

On lonesome nights and the nights that made you feel hopeless. It acts as a balm to your wounds. So, what? So, what if today you can’t achieve what’s meant for you. There will be days when it will be yours. So, what if there is no one with you right now. But, aren’t you, your own home?

“Tujhme na kami koi hai, Bas tera ye din bura hai, Waqt ki baatein hai Ise gujar jane doo.”

It took me to the times, when not only the whole world but I questioned myself, “Why are you like this?”, “What is that you don’t have?”, “Why were you never enough?” This “You” is scaring as if all the fingers in the world are pointed towards me and it raised the most important question within, “How to let this time pass?” and “Is it really that time heals everything or with time we get numb to it?”

And then there it was,

“Toh kya hua jo badla wo jo kehta tha yahi, Badal bhi jaye duniya main rahunga bas vahi.”

At this point, something inside me broke in the memory of someone that I loved the most. Still, love? Maybe. Someone, now I am unable to recognize in the chaos of the world. I smiled with a tear rolling down my face. Someone I miss the most. Someone who is lost. Someone who is not me. My old self. The song left me with the question, “Who am I now?”

Maa asked me, “what is with this song and a sad smile?” To which I replied, “Is there supposed to be a reason for everything?”

“Baat ye fizool hai, Inhe bhool jane doo.”