Me and my anxiety share a love-hate relationship,
We both are two different directions of the same magnetic pole.
And opposites attract each other.
Sometimes, it asks me for help
And
On other days, it slowly settles within me.
She is the reason I seek constant validation,
Running behind the love that I truly deserve.
What I deserve is decided by her.
“You don’t deserve him”
“You bring trouble”
So, I’m sorry if I ask you everything again and again
Because I am stuck in a cage made by her.
I am so dependent on her,
That I can’t walk past my bed without her,
She is my necessity.
She is my constant.
She gives cuddles that feel like wrapped in a chain.
Whenever a slight bit of happiness comes within,
She makes sure to come up to me and remind me,
“ Bitch, I don’t think you deserve it.”
She calls out on my toxic traits,
Like my body is filled up 99.99% of it,
I am filled with anguish,
I am filled with insecurities,
That she brings up to me
She says me,
“Noone will ever love you as much as I do”
“You will come running back to me.”
“You bring trouble in their life.”
“You are a piece of shit only I can handle.”
“Everyone will laugh at you and leave you.”
“So, you better stick around, babe.”
I might have wings,
But, she has wings that crash.
I might have magic,
But, she comes from a dark place.
I can walk straight,
But
She makes sure to make me
tremble and fall.
I’m sorry if I ended my friendship with you,
Because I am in a relationship with her.
You know she tells me,
How she doesn’t like my friends.
She speaks to me that she is the only one that I need
“You aren’t allowed to stay in anyone else’s life.”
But,
She makes sure that I am a friend to her close friend,
Loneliness
When I fight with you to stay in my life,
I have to fight with her to let me go.
I have to fight with her for being so obsessed with me.
To let me be.
So, I’m sorry if I shouted at you,
She brings out the worst in me,
She provokes me against you.
Speak up,
Shout,
Repeat,
Think,
Stop,
and,
Just
Breathe
Breathe
1
2
3
So, I understand if you don’t want to stay up with me,
Because I can be too much.
Because I come in a pack of two.
Me and Anxiety
And you didn’t sign up for this.
And sometimes I wonder,
What would my life be without her?
You see, it’s like that toxic relationship
that you can’t get rid of.
I love her as much as I hate her.
She and I had the longest relationship I ever had
And I can’t get rid of her.
After letting her go,
Maybe I will hook up with Separation Anxiety
As my escape mechanism
Or
Maybe I could be in a relationship with Loneliness
But,
I can’t let her go
Because she is the oxygen that I need to survive
So, you know
Me and my anxiety share a love-hate relationship.
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