It’s a popular saying in the mental health field that “A good therapist is one who has their own therapist.” I started my therapy journey two years back when I was still doing my Engineering but was supposed to be soon part of the now ever-growing Mental Health field. Of course, I was hesitant to seek assistance at first. It wasn't just the persistent thinking in my brain that "No, I'm not sick," but also how can someone who can't help herself, be professionally qualified to help others? It's the little things that allow us to stigmatize therapy. As I continued through my therapy, this thought bothered me on several occasions, and it was then that my therapist provided me with a valuable insight. She told me it’s similar to saying, “Oh, you are a heart surgeon but you can’t treat yourself if you had a cardiac arrest then how are you supposed to help your patients.” Many of my friends believe in therapy, but only in the sense that it is confined to people who are mentally ill. The reality is, and this is something I strongly believe, that everyone, regardless of circumstances, should seek therapy at least once in their lives.
I remember my first therapy session and my first reaction to it was "Yes, I know all those things about me subconsciously." I think what therapy highlighted for me was those little truth bombs that had always been lurking in the back of my mind but had never made it into a real conversation with anyone. Going to the underlying cause of how and why I'm behaving in a specific manner allowed me to validate myself by acknowledging that it's fine to feel and behave in certain ways, but now that you know why, you have the opportunity to rectify it.
From berating myself for being "too sensitive" to actually establishing and maintaining a healthy boundary. From always thinking "Am I good enough?" to truly appreciate all of my small efforts. From being afraid of change and being alone to really work on ways to self-soothe each day, I've come a long way. This is a never-ending cycle of working on yourself. It's a liberating feeling not to be reliant on anyone, and I believe a therapist's role is to ensure that their clients aren't overly reliant on anyone, especially their own therapist. I usually get a tiny prideful smile on my face whenever I tell someone that I am going to be a therapist soon and that I go to therapy myself. I'm continuously working on myself and making sure I'm not projecting my toxic traits onto others. Of course, there are several obstacles in the form of not being able to break a pattern. But, as my therapist says, “The graph isn’t linear, there will be ups and downs, it’s just that you know how to handle a situation better each time you fall down.”
Talking about my mental disorder and letting others know about it has been a slow process for me over the last two years. Me, who is professionally in this field, had trouble letting my parents know about it. It is difficult to imagine how much struggle a person goes through without being able to share because of the fear of stigmatization. It helped me understand how deeply a person's troubles are internalized. Because you have no idea what someone is going through, one has to be understanding and kind to everyone. A simple hello with a smile from a friend or a stranger has helped me a lot on my bad days. And I believe that this is what the world needs, a little bit of kindness and no judgment. A little support goes a long way.
~Vrunda
03.03.22
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